I know that Julia Child said to never apologize for the food you serve, but how can I not when I'm trying to sneak by Easter without offering up my annual failed batch of Martha-Stewart-inspired dyed Easter eggs? And instead, I give you egg salad—as if it's an equivalent substitute? As if instead of spending Saturday morning dyeing eggs with your kids/friends/craft gang you might rather peel hard-boiled eggs, mash them up with some mayo and call it Easter?
Even my photos feel guilty. I tried to make this egg salad glamorous, to make it something more than it was. But alas, I must conclude: egg salad is not glamorous. It's delicious and nostalgic, but it's not going to win “the most photogenic salad” superlative in the food yearbook, even with the arguably glamorous additions of crisp smoky bacon and spicy horseradish, and even if it was tastier than your average egg salad and turned my workday lunch into a midday triumph. In fact, I would go as far to say that egg salad is to Cee Lo (good but not exactly sexy) as Martha Stewart's Easter eggs are to Gwyneth Paltrow (gorgeous, Waspy, and gluten-free).
Speaking of Cee Lo, he’s doing pretty well for himself these days—wouldn't you say? He's collaborating with the aforementioned Gwyneth, co-hosting a television show, wearing some pretty cool outfits, and well, that girl that broke up with him for financial reasons is probably feeling pretty stupid right about now. Though, to be fair, Matt believes there may have been non-monetary issues plaguing that relationship.
But let's get back to Easter. Easter is all about new beginnings, right? And there are a few things that have been hanging over my head that I have wanted to share, been meaning to share, and after reading this Mary Oliver poem, I feel like I cannot put them off another day. (I can however, tuck these disclosures way down here in the post below the Cee Lo jokes.)
OK, here goes: In exactly five months from today, I’m turning 30, and while they say that age is just a number, 30 feels like more than that. It feels very adult, very weighty. And that’s probably because I’ve put so much weight on it. I’ve heard myself answer questions as to when Matt and I might start having kids by saying: “I’m not really going to think about it until I’m 30.” Because my past self rationalized that by the time I turned 30, I would be more settled. By 30, I would be putting money into my savings account without taking it right back out months later. Once I was as old as 30, I wouldn’t have such a panicky feeling when I thought about the future. Of course, now that it’s five months away, I’m a little annoyed with my past self’s great expectations.
However, I also realize that I have five months, five precious months to get some things in order. So, I would like to set about a few attainable goals here, in public, where it’s scary, where it’s in plain view and thus, where I cannot turn my back on them and try to forget that I made them in the first place. But with this, comes another reveal—something that feels so silly to talk about sometimes and I wish I knew why exactly except that it’s probably because I’ve poured my whole life/heart/self into it. Can I run away now before saying anything else? OK, great. Enjoy the recipe! Bye!!
Spicy Egg Salad via Buttermilk Press
6 hard-boiled eggs, peeled and finely chopped
1/2 cup mayonnaise, plus a little extra for spreading
1 tablespoon prepared horseradish
3 slices bacon, cooked and crumbled
Salt and Pepper, to taste
In medium bowl, combine eggs, 1/2 cup mayonnaise, horseradish, and bacon. Add salt and pepper to taste. Lightly spread mayonnaise on bread slices, then spread the egg salad, and build your sandwich!
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Just kidding. I’ll finish. Maybe you know what I’m talking about already because I mention it in the about me section of this blog, but I have been steadily revising a novel—my thesis from graduate school—since November of 2009.
I love what one of my writing professors said about her now published novel, which was something to the effect of, “I can keep working on it after it's published....They can't stop me!" Every time I open that Word document, there is something to change. It’s this enormous, living document that simply won’t sit still. At first, the revisions were large and swooping—rearranging chapters, changing characters entirely, cutting large blocks of text. Now the revisions are getting smaller and smaller but they’re still there. And I suspect they always will be. Of course, the main difference between me and my writing professor being that she had a publisher. We'll see how I feel if I ever get to that point, which brings us to goal number one.
1. Firmly begin the process of trying to publish the book.
Number two:
2. Book a trip outside of the United States. Four years ago, without an international trip on the horizon, I optimistically renewed my passport. I thought it might be one of those power-of-positive-thinking acts. But I haven’t used it since, and I really really want to get out of this country, if only for a few days. I think I can make this happen (just booking it mind you) by the time I’m 30.
I could add more to this list—there’s a Kitchen Visit video I’m dying to make and the beginnings of a nonfiction book proposal on my computer’s desktop—but I really want to stay firm on these first two. They are both doable and within my control. So, dear readers, I hope this helps to keep me accountable! After all, in the words of Mary Oliver, “Be ignited, or be gone.”
p.s. All apologies to my Passover-celebrating friends! This bacon-laden sandwich will hardly work. How about this leek and ginger matzo ball soup instead?
Sunday, April 24, 2011
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